Captain’s Log: Day 39
It’s been a month or so since I posted anything. Here’s what’s happened:
1) I took my car from sea level to 12,000 feet.
2) Spent a month in the Rockies, Colorado specifically.
3) (this is the important one and the bulk of this update) I realized that I don’t like where Iive.
Number 3 (continued): one night last week I found myself engaged in conversation with a friend of a friend. He asked me how long I’d been in town and how long I’d be there. This got me talking about how I had the summer off from teaching and was traveling, just as I had last summer. The next words to flow from his mouth were like a slap in the face (from reality).
"You must not like where you live if you’re making a habit of being gone as much as possible."
I hadn’t even noticed but it is awfully hard to argue evidence like that. Now, as much as I enjoy teaching (let’s say I enjoy it 60% of the time, not including holidays, weekends, and summers off), there are things that I enjoy much more an teaching. So why am I doing it? Why do you do whatever you do? Why do I live where I live? Before I get any of that, it is important to note the shift in my way of thinking that had occured over the past month. It is a small, tiny, incidental addition to those questions. Try adding this to the end of each:
"…at this moment".
What I have realized in the last month is that I have spent so much of my life looking forward and backwards that I have forgotten to look at where I am now. I could be so much happier than I have been by focusing on the “now.”
The challenge now is to transition from where I am to where I want to be and to do so as gracefully as possible. Will it be trying? Maybe. Will it be stressful? Probably. Will I take a pay-cut? Likely. Will I have to leave behind some great friends? Unfortunately, yes. Will I miss my family? I always do. The only question that matters, though, is this:
Is it worth it?
And the answer to that is, unequivocally, yes. Life is not a dress rehearsal. If I spend my entire life with the feeling that I’m missing out, then that is just what I will have done when I die: missed out.
And let’s be honest: middle Tennessee kind of sucks.
tl;dr: Paradigm shift. It’s time to do something different.